The Dating Crisis

I'm done with dating.

Let me tell you why.

I wasn't really ever pressured into anything, nor have I ever experienced personal disrespect. But let me tell you that I feel both of those things being placed on my sisters in Christ. Every time I turn around, someone is being disrespected. I hear stories of women being pressured into situations that they don't want to be in. It's unbearable.

I want to jump in and tell them that they're worth more, and that they deserve to be pursued and respected and loved. Often, I try to. But a lot of women don't fully understand how they should be treated because they haven't met Jesus. He is the reason I know who I am, and who I should be, and how I deserve to be treated.

Let me tell you something kind of surprising. Dating is dumb.

Yes, you read it right!

Dating before marriage is absolutely the most absurd idea I've ever heard of.

While it certainly is a good, healthy, positive thing, I believe that dating is to be reserved for those who are married.

I imagine that most of you are like "what the heck is this girl talking about?"

So here's a typical conversation (or what I've experienced) between a guy and a girl, where the first "date" is planned.

Guy: Hey

Girl: Hi

Guy: You're cute

Girl: Aw thanks!

Guy: We should hang out sometime

Girl: We totally should!

You deserve to be treated as a princess. Would a prince ever ask his princess to "hang out"? Of course not! Here's where everything gets awesome:

Since we're on the topic of princes and princesses, shouldn't women be courted? Here's something I find totally interesting (probably because I'm in love with the Latin language)...

The root of the word "date" comes from the Latin verb do, dare, do, dedi. If you know Latin, this is one of the first verbs you learn. It means to give. What does it mean to give yourself to someone else? Ultimately, to give yourself to another person is to join two bodies to become one in marital acts. So why do we refer to casually seeing a movie as a "date"?

To "court" (v.), however, means to pursue with intention of marriage. And "court" (n.) comes from the Latin cortem, which means king's court, princely residence, sovereign's assembly.

Courtship requires one man, who desires the Lord's heart and is earnestly seeking in a relationship for the betterment of his soul, and one woman, who emulates our Mother Mary in everything she does and is also seeking a relationship to bring her soul closer to the Lord. Yes, ultimately, courtship ends with marriage (and THEN dating begins). Let's look at those roots a little closer.

King's Court. Princely Residence. Sovereign's Assembly. Doesn't it sound like we're princes and princesses, presenting our relationship to the Lord in His home? Perhaps it goes deeper, in that we invite the Lord to take his residence in our hearts, through courtship. We desire to be closer to Him, through our relationship with each other.

I can hear some guys I know saying something along the lines of "So wait. I'm not really dating her for marriage though, I mean it's obvious that it's not going to last until then."

Here's some Crystalina Evert to clear this up:

"If you're not dating with your eyes on forever, you're just dating to break up. In other words, it's a divorce practice." -How To Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

(Just to let you guys know, that's a book for women. So that's top secret female information that I just shared with you. a.k.a. Use it super wisely)

Okay. So you get my point. Courtship>Dating (until you're married).

I totally understand that by "date", people don't just mean they sleep around. But truly understanding the meaning of "courtship" redefines our relationships.

To my ladies:

You are worth being pursued. You are more than just a body. Since God is the King, you are His daughter, you're actually a princess - SURPRISE! :). You are perfect just the way you are, and if anyone tries to tell you differently, tell yourself that God doesn't make mistakes. If that still isn't enough, allow yourself to be loved by Christ for a few minutes. Give Him yourself and allow Him to hold you, cherish you, and show you how you deserve to be treated. Be holy and graceful. Be His.

To the guys:

You are awesome. You are! You have the power to treat a woman with respect. In our world today, it's so much easier to use her. Are you up for the challenge to love, pursue, and cherish? Don't be proven wrong. Stand up for women. You are the son of the King, making you a prince. It is so easy to chase what you bodily desire, but it is so much more natural to desire the (almost) impossible. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. If you fall, be not afraid. He always calls you home to Him. Be noble and daring. Be His.

​On Valentine's day, don't be afraid to make Jesus your Valentine! He's mine!! :)

From the Good Book:

"the free gift in the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, abounded for the many"-Romans 5:15

"Upon my bed at night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not; I called him but he gave no answer. 'I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him, but found him not. The sentinels found me, as they went aobut in the city. 'Have you seen him whom my soul loves?' Scarecly had I passed them, when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the wild does: do not stir up or awaken love until it is ready!" -Song of Solomon 3:1-5

"You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride." -Song of Solomon 4:9

Other Good Stuff:

Awesome blog on courtship for men from Whiskey Catholic: http://www.whiskeycatholic.com/2013/02/14/the-catholic-gentleman-male-courtship/

Made In His Image (their pic above) is an beautiful blog for women about their worth: http://madeinhisimage.org/