My Surrender

Ten days before Christmas, I realized this was the God of the universe that we were preparing to welcome into our world of sin. What was I going to offer such a beautiful, priceless gift? It was HIS birthday, after all (His 2013th birthday, to be exact). And if turning 2013 isn't a big deal, I don't know what is. So, instead of preparing for a "regular" birthday, with balloons filled with helium, I wondered what type of "balloons" I could offer our Savior. Then it hit me. If offering myself to Him, for His Will to be done, why haven't I given myself to Him yet? I mean, yes, while saying the Our Father, of course I say "Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done...". But have I truly given all of myself to Him? Is my will below His? Have I put myself aside to the point where I'm recklessly abandoning myself before His will? Nope! And that's where my radical, relentless surrender began. Since it was ten days to Christ's birth, I started the next day with my gift of "balloons" to Christ, or my Novena to the Infant Jesus of Prague (links to all prayers below). I have to admit, this was the tougest devotion I've ever prayed. For some reason, I was terrified of giving my desires up, and not living my own life.

SIKE! I found out this was not at ALL what Christ truly means by "abandonment". Instead, it's God's divine plan that will amaze me. He's literally planning to blow my mind. I'm not losing myself, my wishes, or my dreams in this surrender, but instead, I'm gaining Christ. He who knows my hopes and dreams even better than I do, since He placed those desires in my heart. During this novena, I had the opportunity to visit Christ in the flesh at Adoration. This experience broke my heart. I literally felt pain, thinking I was losing my future. Here's something that will always blow my mind. I will NEVER forget this feeling. Halfway through Adoration, I knew I needed to go to Confession. As soon as I finished my penance, an amazing sense of peace and complete agape was felt within me. I can't compare that moment with any other in my life. I've had spectacular moments with Christ during Adoration, but the amount of peace that I felt in that moment was more than I've ever experienced in my life. I went from sobbing and terrified to totally relaxed and in love.

Christ's birthday was a few days after. My novena ended on that day, but I wasn't ready to stop devoting myself to Him. I decided to consecrate myself to Him everyday. That's when I began St. Margaret Mary Alacoque's Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Saying this Consecration daily has brought me into a beautiful love with Christ's Sacred Heart. However, this still wasn't enough. One can never be too filled with the Holy Spirit, or too in love with Christ, or too faithful to God. I was greedy, but in a holy way. "Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control. 'Cause I want more of You, God. I want more of You, God." - Jesus Culture Yeah. Like that kind of greedy. So on January 21, 2014, I began a 54 day Rosary Novena to our Momma Mary. One of my favorite quotes from Maximilian Kolbe: "Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did." It's been going really well, although I'm human and I have missed a day or two (which are made up the next day, of course:)). My intention is specifically for my future, and where God is calling me. I can't surrender to His Will if I can't figure out what that is! Two of my favorite words in the universe are "blatantly obvious". I pray all the time that God make His Will blatantly obvious to me, because I'm not the best at determining exactly what His Will is, or hearing His voice above all the noise in my life. So that's where I am right now. I know that the Lord has an amazing plan for me, and I can't wait to figure out what that is. If you're reading this, know that I'm praying for you, and that you are loved beyond comprehension (by Someone who died just so you could be saved).

Thank you for your support, I'd love to hear from you!! :) -Cassie George thywillbedoneblog@gmail.com Links

Novena to the Infant Jeus of Prague: http://www.catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=2918 Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus (& photo credit): http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/heart/consecration.htm 54 Day Rosary Novena (there are many different sites for this, but I like this one): http://www.prayerflowers.com/54DayNovena.htm#GLO